Specifically, this group consists of thin white women in their late teens and 20s. Most people have to navigate a world that denies their desirability. About Help Terms Privacy. Writer, editor, leftist activist. Endlessly fascinated by the complexities of human minds and cultures. Completing my MA in Anthropology. sleguichard gmail. Open in app. More from P. I Love You Follow. Read more from P. I Love You. Recommended from Medium. The Likebox. Studio Theory. Nikita Ahya. Lance Montauk.

The Indian Handwritten Letter Co. Amanda Bainbridge. Deeksha Agrawal. Get the Medium app. Get started. More from Medium. Isaiah McCall. Yard Couch. Mona Lazar. While everyone has a chance to meet their special someone online, there are also some very real cultural norms that just might give women and especially femme women an easier time when it comes to finding a date online.

The traditional approach to dating is one that places expectations on men to initiate contact by sending along that first message. We may be living in a modern world with balanced social dynamics making headway, but cultural programming runs deep and undoubtedly affects our gender-specified forms of behaviour. The common belief is that femininity means passivity, with many women placing expectation on their masculine counterpart to actively initiate a connection.

Pretty up a profile et voila. Sit back, relax, and let the messages role in. Is this the reality? Or is it really as good as it sounds? On the other hand, if an expectation of a man initiating a connection online leads to a woman to wait for his arrival, then she is assuming a very disempowered state. In fact, it leads to a lower quality dating experience, and has effects that ripple into every avenue of courtship and relationships.

When we do not assume our power, we give it to someone else and spend a large portion of our time in a perpetual cycle of waiting, hoping, and looking forward instead of engaging, creating, and willing.

To wait on a man to send a fist message, invite you to a first date, follow-up after a first date, or even to propose a committed relationship are all classic damsel in distress scenarios: I need or want something and I need a man to fulfill this need. I shall wait in my tower until my prince arrives. If relying on men to step up, you could very well be missing out on the ease and even addictive past time of browsing profiles and feeling out your preferred match for yourself.

Maintain your personal empowerment above all else, and realize that being a femme lady can also equate to being active in the pursuit! Dating is all around easier for anyone, independent of sex or gender, when they recognize and exercise their power to create a desirable situation, and let go of any preferred situation not working out.

If you are a woman and also empowered, then yes, this definitely can make online dating easier for you as a woman. As a woman steps outside of the princess role and takes on throne of a queen, she realizes how magnificent her life will become, which includes her experiences with online dating.

Ever since the beginning of the pandemic, my single female friends have been more active on dating apps and dating sites. A couple of them have even had the horrible experience of being sexually harassed by men who objectified them rather than viewing them as full humans. There seems to be a pervasive belief that men have a harder time with dating, especially in the context of dating apps.

An alarmingly substantial number of men even use this idea to justify a misogynistic worldview. One of them recently said this to me:.

Everybody knows that dating apps are much tougher for men. Being a dude sucks in the dating world in general. Men have to do all the work and all women have to do is sit there and wait for everything to fall into their lap. That men are the pursuers and women are the objects to be pursued, and that therefore, women all have great prospects constantly flocking to them. The Incel community is especially known for spreading these sexist ideas.

These men often report that they never receive any replies on dating sites and that the experience is so demoralizing that they ultimately give up. In reality, women are just as likely to face a seemingly endless stream of rejection.

The data backs this up: According to research on online dating , reply rates are very low overall, among both men and women. Men are just more vocal about it. So why is it that so many men cling to this unfounded belief, that all women have a much easier time on dating apps? But you know who gets the most attention? Thin white men — research has found that white men get the highest reply rates of all groups.

And, more importantly, thin white women are obviously not representative of all women. Overall, here are just some of the female demographics who have a particularly difficult time on dating apps: older women , trans women , BIPOC Black, Indigenous, and people of color women, disabled women , fat women , and highly educated women. Unsurprisingly, women of color have a particular disadvantage on dating apps. This is especially true for Black women, who are often either excluded from consideration or sexually fetishized.

For example, many dating sites, such as OkCupid, Hinge, CoffeeMeetsBagel, eHarmony, and Match provide filters that allow users to exclude specific racial groups, most commonly BIPOC groups. There is no legitimate reason for these race-based filters to exist — they do nothing but facilitate racism, particularly anti-Black racism.

Perhaps this could be attributed to men feeling intimidated by smart or educated women and by indicators of maturity. Specifically, this group consists of thin white women in their late teens and 20s. Most people have to navigate a world that denies their desirability.

About Help Terms Privacy. Writer, editor, leftist activist. Endlessly fascinated by the complexities of human minds and cultures. Completing my MA in Anthropology. sleguichard gmail. Open in app. More from P. I Love You Follow. Read more from P. I Love You. Recommended from Medium. The Likebox.

Studio Theory. Nikita Ahya. Lance Montauk. The Indian Handwritten Letter Co. Amanda Bainbridge. Deeksha Agrawal. Get the Medium app. Get started. More from Medium. Isaiah McCall. Yard Couch. Mona Lazar. Jessica Wildfire. Ariana E. Hello, Love.

Men are just more vocal about it. The Likebox. But, if this message is speaking to you, then that is absolutely amazing. Men have to do all the work and all women have to do is sit there and wait for everything to fall into their lap. Related posts: 5 Mistakes Men Make When Dating Online That Scare Women Away Why Do Professional Women Struggle with Online Dating?

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